Category — Funny

Un Eléphant réussi à peindre son autoportrait !
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You know it’s going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black. – Sir Charles Barkley

Yesterday was Groundhog Day. In fact, when the groundhog came out of his hole, he didn’t even look for his shadow, he just said he was walking away from his mortgage.

Well, it happened again. Two Northwest pilots overshot Minneapolis Airport by 500 miles. They weren’t in a plane, they were in a Toyota. It wouldn’t stop.

* Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

* Nobody knows the truffles I’ve seen!

* Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Some consider carob an adequate substitute for chocolate because it has some similar nutrients (calcium, phosphorus), and because it can, when combined with vegetable fat and sugar, be made to approximate the color and consistency of chocolate. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. -Sandra Boynton, author of Chocolate: the Consuming Passion

I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. – Erma Bombeck

Massachusetts elects a Republican who drives a truck with 200,000 miles on it. It’s a Chevy truck. Which is harder to believe? Massachusetts elects a Republican or Chevy makes a truck that can go 200,000 miles? – David Letterman

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. - Groucho

I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother. – Rita Rudner

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. – Rodney Dangerfield