Witty Quotes » Age

Dream In The Body

Quotations — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:00:34 +0000

Sickness is a dream in the body, and symptoms are possessed of what the physicist David Bohm calls “soma-significance.” They mean something. They have wisdom, metaphoric power, method in their madness. They are one of the languages the soul uses to get across to us something about itself.
–Gregg Levoy

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Age Is Opportunity

Quotations — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:29:43 +0000

For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away
The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.
–Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Actual Craigslist Ad: Cockroaches

Quotations — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 12:55:00 +0000

I found four cockroaches in a box of Triscuit a few months back, I hate to have to get rid of them but I’m moving to a smaller place and won’t really have the room for them any more. All four of them (Mingus, Dinky, Cleopatra, and Prickly Pete) are house trained and need nothing more than some rotting garbage and an occasional scratch behind the antennae. Rehoming fee of $15 each or $50 for all four, as I would like to see them all stay together.

Vintage Henny Youngman

Quotations — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 12:09:00 +0000

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Take my wife… Please!

Leno Quotes

Quotations — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 10:53:00 +0000

Yesterday was Groundhog Day. In fact, when the groundhog came out of his hole, he didn’t even look for his shadow, he just said he was walking away from his mortgage.

Well, it happened again. Two Northwest pilots overshot Minneapolis Airport by 500 miles. They weren’t in a plane, they were in a Toyota. It wouldn’t stop.

Mark Twain

Quotations — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:04:48 +0000

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened….

Savage

Quotations — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:52:40 +0000

The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.
–Bertrand Russell

Leonardo da Vinci

Quotations — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 14:17:18 +0000

“Learning acquired in youth arrests the evil of old age; and if you understand that old age has wisdom for its food, you will so conduct yourself in youth that your old age will not lack for nourishment.”

Hermann Hesse

Quotations — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 13:06:59 +0000

“Seeking means to have a goal; but finding means to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal. You, O worthy one, are perhaps indeed a seeker, for in striving towards your goal, you do not see many things that are under your nose.”

Thomas Paine

Quotations — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 14:50:30 +0000

We hold the moral obligation of providing for old age, helpless infancy, and poverty is far superior to that of…