I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it. - Alfred Hitchcock

Twenty-eight years old! That shows you how quickly things can change. Britney is now back on top of her game and Tiger Woods is in the tabloids for crashing his car. Who could have seen . . . – Jay Leno

Don’t you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night. – Steven Wright

Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. – Erma Bombeck

Need a last minute idea for a Halloween costume?

How about making yourself into “Balloon Boy?”